


I don't like you, but I love you

by GoobleGoble



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Love/Hate, Racial slurs, Redemption, Sexual Content, jerk Daryl, jerk Merle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 07:33:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4995766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoobleGoble/pseuds/GoobleGoble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Romance for Daryl and (OFC) Isabelle based off the song "You Really Got a Hold on Me." by Smokey Robinson. I'm seeing this as set in the early 90's, hence the cassette tapes and lack of cell phones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I don't like you but I love you

**Author's Note:**

> So one of my favorite things to do is sit in my parents back porch, listening to oldies (I mean real oldies, not 90's music OK....yeah I'm old.) drinking a beer and hanging with family, the other day this song came on and this story sprang to mind, I thought of doing it for Sansa and Sandor of SOIAF and then I thought about doing it for Merle but Merle gets most of my love so I did it with Daryl. Daryl might be a little OOC but I'm basing this off of him telling Beth he was an asshole before the apocalypse, this is how I imagined he acted only I'm giving him a brighter future than I think he would have had otherwise.
> 
> I have some Spanish in this story, but I skipped the proper Spanish punctuation just to make things easier for myself and I put the translations in parenthesis next to the word or sentence instead of at the end of the story.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**I don't like you, but I love you**

**Seems that I'm always thinkin' of you**

**You treat me badly, I love you madly**

**You've really got a hold on** me

“Damn neighborhood gettin’ overrun with them spics.” Merle sneered as the girl hurried past their front lawn on the way to the bus stop at the corner.

Everyday Daryl would see her walking by, her hair done up in a strange bouffant pony tail, her navy dickies hugging her round ass and her thin white tank showing off the olive skin of her arms and ample chest. He remembered her from school, before he dropped out and started hanging with Merle and his crew more and more often. Isabelle was her name and she would look at him then quickly look away and walk in any other direction seemingly to get away from him. Daryl finished his beer and threw the can at the sidewalk, missing the girl by a foot but making her jump all the same. Merle threw his head back and laughed, the girl scowled, her full dark lips pulling up and her almond eyes narrowing, but she didn’t say anything, she hurried off and soon she was out of sight.

“I’m going to get laid, want me ta see if Nancy’s got a friend?” his brother smacked his shoulder.

“Naw,” Daryl laid his head on the back of the white plastic chair he was sitting in and looked up at the dilapidated roof of their front porch, “I ain’t interested in gettin’ the clap. You should wear a rubber lessin’ you want ta be pissin’ fire again.”

“Fuck.” Merle rubbed his face and stood up, “Think I got somethin’ somewhere’s.”

Daryl closed his eyes, “In my dresser, got half a box.” he sighed.

Truth was he hardly ever needed them and the box was over a year old, might be even more than half a box left, Merle was welcomed to them, Lord knew antibiotics were expensive.

“Hell yeah, little brother, ya sure you wanna just sit here, some of her friends ain’t that bad, Marla’s got titties out ta here.” Daryl opened one eye ta see Merle stretching out his arms, if he wasn’t exaggerating Marla was packing watermelons, he closed his eye again.

“I’m fuckin’ beat, maybe later.”

“Suit yerself pussy.” he brother mumbled before heading in.

Daryl reached into the cooler by his chair and opened another beer, he hardly registered Merle walking out of the house and leaving on his bike. His head was busy wondering what Isabelle looked like without all that eyeliner and lipstick, and he was wondering if her round ass would be just as inciting bare or if big asses were gross up close and personal. He’d never know, her kind and his kind didn’t mix. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Isa!” Daryl was awoken later by a female voice with a thick accent calling out.

“Abuela! Que estas hasciendo aqui?” (Grandma, what are you doing here?)

“A donde te fuistes?” (Where did you go?)

Daryl stood up, these women were lucky Merle wasn’t here. He wouldn’t take kindly to their gibberish. He walked slowly down the decaying steps of his front porch and toward the two women, lighting a smoke along the way. Isabelle or Isa noticed almost immediately and grabbed her grandmother by the arm.

“Come on Abuelita, we need to go.” she ushered the older Mexican woman away and down the street with Daryl glaring at them the entire way. Isa looked over her shoulder at him several times, as if to make sure he wasn’t following.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

After that day Daryl made point of learning Isa’s schedule and he made sure he was there when she walked by his house and to the bus stop. Sometimes he’d just glare at her, other times Merle was there with a quick line,

“Hey, girl! How much for you ta clean my toilet?” or

“Homegirl, wanna bring me an enchilada next time you come buy.” Daryl always laughed out loud, a perverse part of him enjoying the pain behind her angry scowl at their words.

He grew to look forward to seeing her walk by, even if she looked at him with anger and fright. She deserved to be frightened, back at school she’d never even given him a chance, even back when he hadn’t so much as spoken to her. “Fuck her,” he mumbled to himself when she would practically run past their house, without looking up.

Then one day, she didn’t show, she didn’t show the next day either or the day after that. Daryl would have thought she moved but he saw the little brown boy that lived with her riding his bike alone from time to time. She was still here, and he wondered how she got were she needed to go now; if she wasn't riding the bus. Maybe she got herself a boyfriend to drive her around, the thought made him sick. He told himself it was because the spics would breed but the thought of someone else in between Isa’s legs made him want to punch something.

It was a fluke when he found her, he ran out of smokes and the damn store by the house was out of his brand, so he hauled his ass to the convenient store in the opposite direction, and there she was stepping out of a bus right in front of the store he’d just walked out of. She’d been walking an extra mile in the opposite direction to catch the bus. She froze her brown eyes wide when she saw him. Daryl balled up the cellophane his freshly opened smokes and threw it at her.

“Why?” she asked him exasperated. Her voice was strong and clear with just a hint of an accent. “What have I ever done to you?”

Daryl didn’t bother saying anything, he lit his cigarette and glared at her. When she figured she wouldn’t get an answer she continued down the street and Daryl followed, his eyes taking in the sashay of her hips as she walked quickly, trying to get away from him. She stopped and stepped aside, clearly trying to get him to walk ahead of her, Daryl stopped.

“What are you doing?” there was fear in her voice now as she looked around. If she was looking for help she was shit out of luck, they were alone on the street with the woods to their right. Daryl didn’t stop to consider what he was doing, he flicked his cigarette onto the street and grabbed her upper arm, dragging her into dense forrest.

“Daryl!” she yanked at her arm, trying to get away. He held on tight but stopped when she yelled his name.

“You know me?” he asked.

“Of course, we went to school together. I know you.” her voice was shaky and she yanked at her arm again.

Daryl tightened his hold and pulled her after him for a few more minutes before stopping at a large tree in a clearing.

 

**Baby, I don't want you, but I need you**

**Don't wanna kiss you, but I need to**

**You do me wrong now, my love is strong now**

**You've really got a hold on me**

 

“Daryl, whatever you are going to do, please stop.” her voice quivering but she held her head high. “I know I can’t beat you but i’ve never done anything to you, why are you being like this?”

Daryl rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand, “You used ta run from me in school girl and yer still runnin’.”

“I didn’t…..and look how you are, of course I run. I can’t beat you and your brother.”

“Yeah you did, see me comin’ down the hall ’n you turn tail and head the other way.” he bit back.

“I…it’s cause.” Isa shook her head and closed her eyes.

“It’s cause what? Huh. Scared of the redneck, then you wonder why I ain’t nice ta ya. Fuck you!”

“I wasn’t scared….then….not like that.” her cheeks were red as she looked out into the woods towards the road.

Daryl stepped into her line of sight and took another step closer to her, getting in her personal space. “Scared like how then, brownie.”

Her face crumbled up in anger, “Fuck you redneck!” she tried to move around him but Daryl was faster, grabbing her and pinning her to the tree behind her.

“Answer the damn question.” Daryl could feel her soft breast pushed up against him and despite his agitation he began to harden.

“I…” Isa squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, “I thought you were handsome…OK…now you have something else to torture me with.”

“What?” Daryl shifted in surprise, accidentally rubbing his erection against her belly.

Isa’s eyes widened at the feel of his hardened member, “Daryl what are you going to do?”

And for some reason his mind took the question and turned it into a challenge. He grabbed her jaw and bent down to kiss her.

 

**Baby, I love you and all I want you to do Is just**

**hold me, hold me, hold me, hole me**

**Tighter, Tighter**

 

 

Isa let out a squeak as his lips touched hers and for a few moments there was nothing, nothing but him moving his lips on hers, rubbing himself against her like he was still some stupid teenager, then she parted her lips and the kiss deepened. It didn’t take long for him to wrap his arms around her, drinking in the soft taste of sweet lemonade on her tongue, it was a nice change from the liquor and cigarettes he was used to. He realized this was probably his first sober kiss in….years?…maybe ever.

He took her there against the tree, surprising both of them in his intensity and her willingness. If he was afraid her skin or her body would repel him he was wrong, he enjoyed the feel of her fleshy backside as he held her up, her thick thighs wrapped around his waist as he trust into her over and over again. He studied her when they were done, as she bent over to retrieve the underwear and pants he’d practically ripped off her. No, he decided, big asses aren’t gross up close, he liked them just fine. She wasn’t fat, he noticed, even though Merle had said she was more than once, she was just more padded in certain places. Thinking of Merle brought him back to what he’d just done.

“Best if people didn’t know what happened.” he rumbled as he buckled up his belt.

Isa paused as she buttoned her own pants, “Like your brother.” she asked softly.

“Merle wouldn’t like it, should probably keep using this bus stop too.”

Isa didn’t say anything as she continued to dress, she sat on a fallen log and put her shoes back on.

“Hey,” she didn’t look up. “I know yer schedule, I’ll come every chance I get.”

She smiled sadly at that, “Sure Daryl.”

He wasn’t a fool, he knew she wouldn’t like it. He wouldn’t like it if it was the other way around, if she had told him they needed to hide, but if they didn’t, if they walked out of these woods hand in hand, things wouldn’t be pretty for either of them, but it would be hell for her.

“Will you be here?” he asked a stone in the pit of his stomach.

“Ill be here.” she answered and she was.

They got six moths of sneaky bliss before he screwed it up.

 

**I wanna leave you, don't wanna stay here**

**Don't wanna spend another day here I wanna split now,**

**I can't quit now**

**You've really got a hold on me**

 

“Come on! You’ve been a fuckin’ fag for months now. You gotta get laid little brother.” Merle was dragging his ass from the shitty hole in the wall bar they’d been drinking at and toward a car with a couple of painted up whores who were so sloshed outta their minds they could barely talk.

“OOOOOOO I get the younger one!” a brunette with smeared pink lips giggled at her friend.

“Yer loss sugar.” Merle laughed pushing Daryl into the back seat with the still giggling bimbo. “I always did prefer blonds.”

Merle dragged the bleach blond driver over to him and stuck his tongue down her throat as her hand went straight to his cock. Daryl’s stomach rolled, he hoped to get out of this somehow but if he couldn’t, he sure as hell hoped someone had condoms because Merle had taken all of his the last time he fucked Nancy. The brunette, he didn’t bother remembering her name scooted closer to him, her hand sneaking up to his soft penis.

“What’s the matter baby,” she cooed “got whiskey dick.”

Daryl grabbed her by the hair and started kissing her, he didn’t want Merle to hear he couldn’t get it hard, his older brother was in a mood. The brunette tasted like some kind of sugary mixed drink that made him want to puke, he pulled away and jerked a medium sized bottle of moonshine from his back pocket.

“Here.” he tipped a healthy amount of the clear liquor into the woman’s mouth, maybe he could get her so drunk she passed out.

It wasn’t long before they ended up at the woman’s trailer but to Daryl it felt like a life time with the drunken woman sucking at his neck and squeezing his balls. The four of them stumbled into the small living room where Merle announced that he and blondie were getting the bedroom and Daryl could fuck in the living room. Daryl kissed and touched the girl, focusing on her so that she wouldn’t notice that even after all this time he still couldn’t get it up. To his relief the plan worked, two more shots of moonshine and the woman was out cold. He pulled of her panties and threw them on the coffee table, he pulled a tit out of her shirt and messed up her hair a bit, after that he unbuckled and unzipped his pants and let himself fall back onto the couch to sleep.

“Good job Darylina,” Merle’s laughing woke him up hours later. “Now lets get the fuck outta here 'for these bitches wake up.”

He wore a high necked t-shirt to meet Isa the next day, doing his best to cover the marks that woman left on him, but it didn’t help.

“What is that.” the pain in Isa’s eyes was unbearable.

“Merle, he insisted we go out with some bitches.” Daryl tried to explain. “But I didn’t do nothin’.”

“You did something.” tears welled up in her eyes.

“I couldn’t say no with Merle there.”

“Why not?”

He didn’t have an answer for that, “I tricked him though, didn’t fuck her.”

Isa shook her head, “No, I think the only one you tricked is me.” the tears finally escaped her eyes and ran down her cheeks as she turned and ran.

Daryl couldn’t exactly go tearing down the street after her without attracting a lot of bad attention, so he kept to the woods, following as quickly as he could after her, he wasn’t able to reach her before she turned down a neighborhood street, he followed a distance behind and saw her enter a house. At least now he knew where she lived. He would wait till she cooled down, then he could explain. She didn’t show up to the tree for a week, he waited by the bus station, still nothing, he watched her house but never got a chance to speak with her, it seemed quite a few people lived in her house and wherever she used to go, she’d stopped going. All her time was spent inside or in her back yard.

With all his spying, he finally found out how she looked without make-up, she was beautiful, and when she would go outside to play with the small child she lived with, she would wear short shorts and t-shirts and she looked like an angel sent from heaven. He was about ready to bite the bullet and ring her door bell when she suddenly looked up at him, he froze halfway behind the tree he was peeking from. Her mouth hung open as she stared for what felt like hours. “meet you at the tree tomorrow” she mouthed after getting over her original shock. Daryl nodded, finally it would all get cleared up, he walked home with a smile on his face.

The next day he walked to their spot to find a note and a cassette tape in a baggie nailed to their tree.

 

Daryl,

        I’ve thought long and hard about us and the truth is I love you. I loved you when you would glower at me, I loved you when you would throw beer bottles at me, I even loved you when you and your brother would make fun of me and there has to be something seriously wrong with me for feeling the way I feel. I think I might even have forgiven you for sleeping around on me but the truth is there isn’t anything to forgive, you never made me your girlfriend, you never were going to be my boyfriend, there was never going to be anything but sex against a tree. By the time you get this letter I should be on a plane outta Georgia. We made a baby. I was going to tell you last time we met but after everything, I just can’t stand to see the look on your face when you tell me to hide that you’re the father, or worse, if you told me to get rid of it. I have family that said they’ll help. This is goodbye.

Love,

Isabelle

 

Daryl swallowed hard, the tape was the kind you could record your own song on, printed on a strip of tape at the top of the cassette in Isa’s neat small writing was, Smokey Robinson “You Really Got A Hold On Me”

He went home put it in his beat up cassette player, listened to it and cried.


	2. Just hold me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How it ends.

**Baby, I love you and all I want you to do**

**Is just hold me, hold me, hold me, hole me(Please, squeeze)**

**You really got a hold on me (You really got a hold on me)**

**I said you really got a hold on me (I said you really got a hold on me)**

**You know, you really got a hold on m** e

 

Everyday he made it a point to pass Isa’s house _old house_. _How many months along was she? Did she have the baby already?_ and when he was particularly down _Is it even mine?_

He thought of her every day for a year and then it happened, Merle got put away for ten years. Possession and intent to sell, it was a miracle Daryl didn’t go down with him. The day after Merle’s official lock up, Daryl walked up the broken concrete sidewalk and knocked on the front door of Isa’s house _old house_.

“What do you want?” A big cholo in a wife beater opened the door and scowled at Daryl.

“Where did Isa go?” even if he got his ass handed to him, he wasn’t leaving until he knew.

“Now you care? Little D is nearly six months old.” The big man looked him up and down. “You’re Daryl right?”

“Yeah,” Daryl choked out. “We have a son?”

The other man snorted, “Isa has a son, he ain’t yours if you haven’t done shit for him.” he crossed his arms.

“I’m here to change that.” Daryl hoped the man could see the sincerity in his eyes.

“Jose, quen es?” (Who is it?”) an oder woman who Daryl recognized as Isa’s grandmother stepped outside the door and looked at Daryl with curiosity.

“El papa de Little D.” Jose answered. (Little D’s father)

“Ah si, se miran igual. Los ojos especialmente.”

“What she say?” Daryl asked chewing on his lips.

“Says Little D looks like you. The eyes especially.” Now it was Jose who was studying him.

“Can I call her? I’ve got to talk to her.”

The old woman seemed to understand because she smiled at him and smacked the big man beside her.

“Dale el numero, Isa esta enamorada.”

Jose rolled his eyes, “Fine were given you her number, cause Isa is in love with your white ass and every kid needs a father.” he walked into the house and came back a second later with a piece of paper in his hand, “Fuck this up and I’m fucking you up, ese.” he warned him before handing over the paper.

“I won’t, “ Daryl promised with everything he had. “not this time.” he nodded at the old woman and her grandson and went home.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

“Isa?” he held the phone tightly to his ear.

“Daryl?” her voice was as sweet as he remembered.

“Isa where are you? I know we got a son, Jose and yer grandma told me…..I….I want ta meet him. I want ta see you.”

“I want that too. I wont keep him from you, I’m not like that.”

“But you did!” Daryl nearly yelled, “You split, you took him!” “I didn’t think you cared and it’s been so long and you had others.” she cried. “He’s almost six months, I was sure you didn’t care.”

“Tell me where you are Isa.” Daryl took a shaky breath, “Ain’t been no one, not since the first time with you, I fucked up lettin’ Merle pressure me inta kissin’ that bitch, but it didn’t mean nothin’ and I swear ta you I didn’t fuck her, I ain’t even seen her or no one else since. I want us to make a go of it.”

She quietly sniffed and cried on the other side of the line,

“You got someone else don’t cha. Someone smarter than my dumb ass.”

“No,” she let out a small laugh, “I’m just happy, I hoped you’d find me but never believed you would. There is no one else. I’m in L.A.”

“You willin’ ta come back home? Got tha place ta myself now. Merle’s in jail for at least 10, got me a job as a mechanic. I can give you and my boy a life.”

“I think my Abuelita will let me move back in.” she agreed happily.

“Naw, not with yer Abuelita, Isa, with me. I wanna make a real go of it.”

“Yes! Daryl.” she nearly screamed. “We can come home in a couple of weeks.”

“I’ll be waitin’ baby.” Daryl grinned, he loved the way that rolled of the tongue, his baby and his baby.

The next two weeks were a whirl wind of activity, he did his best to get his piece of shit house ready for his family, he cleaned out Merle’s room and bought a second hand crib and a chest of drawers, it wasn’t much but Isa had been staying in the living room of her Tia and Little D was sharing a crib with his cousin, at least here they had their own space, that had to be better than what they were dealing with now….right?

Seeing his son in Isa’s arms was like nothing he could have imagined. He knew he cared for Isa, but when he set eyes on her again, he knew it was love. She had a small little paunch of a stomach now and he couldn’t wait to see it, in all his time with her they’d never seen each other naked, she was the first woman to see him so exposed and she admitted to him later that the thin white lines that her stretch marks had become, embarrassed her, she was worried they’d turn him off. Daryl couldn’t help but laugh considering the mess of scars his back was, but if Isa showed him a kind of romantic love he’d never known, his son showed him a familial one.

Daryl loved Merle with all his heart, but looking at his boy for the first time nearly broke him. He understood why Isa’s family said the boy looked like him, but Daryl saw not only his face looking back, but Merle’s, and his mothers, only better, brighter, shining with innocence and hope. It took Daryl less than a second to give his heart to the small child and to vow to protect and love him till his dying breath and after.

The transition of being alone to having a family was surprisingly simple. Daryl didn’t know shit about having a close family unit, his mama died when he was young, his daddy was hardly ever around (a good thing if we were honest), it was always just him and Merle. He let Isa take the reins and it worked. Soon there were bbq’s and birthday parties and while Daryl mostly sat quietly at these functions, he welcomed all the help her cousins and brothers offered, with regards to the house, happily, seemed nearly everyone had a knowledge of a helpful trade, he let them help and offered his expertise in mechanics whenever possible even though none of her family ever asked for payment and soon his run down house was looking like a home.

There was one more thing to do.

“Hey Merle.” Daryl sat across from his brother with a shy toddler in his arms and it couldn’t have been more obvious who’s child it was, aside from his hair being just a little bit darker than Daryl’s the kid was a split image of his father.

“This is Little D…as in Daryl Jr.”

“I see that.” his brother nodded, “been keepin’ this from me all this time, kid looks about two years old.”

“Yeah, one and a half.”

“Why brother, so you knocked a bitch up. Ida helped.” Merle looked at him confused.

“Cause this kid.” Daryl looked down at his son and smiled as the boy grinned up at him. “He’s half Mexican, and his Mama ain’t some bitch I knocked up, I married her.”

Merle sat back, “How long you been with this bi… chick?”

“A while, she left for a bit, cause I was a dumb ass, too worried ‘bout what you and everyone else would think ‘stead of being happy.”

Merle stared at him for a while, his face changing from angry, to proud, to sad, to acceptance.

“I don’t even want ta know how you ended up with this woman, but that kid there is family, and family is family.” his brother finally said.

“Isa is family now too.”

“Isa, huh.” Merle rubbed his head. “Ain’t that the neighbor girl, one we used ta laugh at?”

“Yeah, given me more chances than I deserve.”

“Yeah,” Merle studied his little brother. “I guess.”

“Times up!” the guard shouted.

“You bring him ta see his uncle Merle ya hear.” his brother demanded before he was lead away.

Daryl nodded, “You bet bro.”

He walked out of the prison with his son holding on tightly to his rough hands and toddling next to him.

“That was Uncle Merle.” he told his son.

“Tio Mer! Tio Mer!” the young boy squealed next to him.

“Yeah,” Daryl laughed, a genuine belly laugh. “Tio Mer, he’ll love that.” “

Yah,” Little D mimicked laughing just like his daddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys hope Daryl wasn't too out of left field and if you would drop a review I would appreciate it.


	3. You do me wrong now, my love is strong now. You've really got a hold on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isa's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to add this because after I finished the last two chapters I realized Isa came across as weak, and I don't see her as weak, just hopelessly in love. Love at first sight I would say.
> 
> Translations are in parenthesis and anything in Italics are Isa's thoughts. 
> 
> Thank you for reading :-)

Isabelle hurried by the Dixon’s overgrown yard as quickly as she could, the older brother always had something terrible to yell out at her whenever she walked by.

The younger one, Daryl, she’d gone to school with not all that long ago. She had been attracted to him right from the start, his blue eyes so different from her own, the way his hair was always a little too long and looked like he might just cut it himself and he never said a word in class unless it was forced out of him. To be honest he had a aura of sadness around him that she could relate to, but every time she tried to pluck up the courage to talk to him, she chickened out and ran away, if he was anything at all like his brother, the conversation wouldn’t have ended well for her anyway. So she admired him from afar and it was that stupid crush that caused her to look up when she passed his house.

That was a mistake. No sooner had she made out his form on the front porch than a beer can came flying in her direction missing her but still splashing her shoes with back wash and spit. Her first reaction was anger, she hadn’t done anything but walk by, it wasn’t her fault the bus stop was near their house, but only a simpleton would try and fight with two drunk men, so she bit back her words and hurried on to her destination. It wasn’t until she was safely seated on the bus that she stopped to really think about the fact that it wasn’t Merle who threw the can at her, it had been Daryl, and that hurt. She fought back tears, She guessed not talking to him had been a wise choice after all. So many nights she had called herself a coward for not speaking to him, it was a small comfort to know that she had made the right decision but being right didn’t sooth the ache in her heart.

 

>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

 

Somehow she had gotten on Daryl’s bad side. She racked her brain trying to figure out what she had done other than look up at him. It didn’t matter though because whether she’d done anything or not, whether she looked up at his house or not, there was always a glare or a rude comment thrown her way whenever she passed by. Each time it happened, she told herself she didn’t care, that they were just redneck assholes, and each time she heard Daryl laugh at her, she knew she was a liar. She did care, and maybe Daryl was just a redneck asshole, but she still had feelings for him.

“No, Isa,” she tried to tell herself, “you have feelings for a guy you just made up.”

Finally she had enough, she found the nearest bus stop in the opposite direction and walked. Out of sight, out of mind, she hoped, and the walk would do her good, Merle was always yelling out that she was fat anyway.

It worked, sort of. Her days were more peaceful, less stressful and it was easier to just work her little fast food job and to bury herself in the library whenever she had a spare moment. The problem was, every romance novel she read ended up with Daryl as the hero, it didn’t matter that the man was described as tall, dark and handsome, she would picture Daryl’s blue eyes and muscular arms, his light brown hair and high cheekbones. She stopped reading romance and switched to horror.

Her peace lasted only so long. She nearly ran right into him coming off the bus. Her mind froze in shock and she stood staring at him like a statue, until he balled up a piece of trash and threw it at her.

“Why?” she asked, “What have I ever done to you?” She should have known she wouldn’t get an answer, he smoked his cigarette and stared at her. Isa gave up, what else could she do but go home.

She walked as quickly as she could trying to get away from the young mans angry stare. To her dismay, Daryl followed. He didn’t need to follow so close, she felt like prey, prey that could end up being beaten and broken and left on the side of the road. She stopped suddenly, praying that he would walk on by with nothing more that a shove or insult, instead he stopped.

“What are you doing?” she searched the street, if there were people around Daryl was less likely to hurt her, she hoped. There was no one. Daryl’s lip curled and he grabbed her arm in a vice like grip, dragging her into the woods.

“Daryl!” she tried to get him to release her, panic threatening to overtake her.

He stopped and turned to look at her, “You know me?”

“Of course!” Isa answered confused. “We went to school together. I know you.” she tried to pull her arm away again.

Daryl paused only a second before he continued to drag her deeper into the forrest.

“Daryl, whatever you are going to do, please stop.” she pleaded, she wasn’t fool enough to think she stood a chance against him in a fight. “I know I can’t beat you but i’ve never done anything to you, why are you being like this?”

Of all the things she expected him to say, that she was a spic and deserved to be treated like shit, that she was in his way, or that she was ugly, stupid etc. etc. What he actually said, shocked her.

“You used ta run from me in school girl and yer still runnin’.”

_What?_ “I didn’t….” she stuttered “Of course I run! Look how you are!”

“Yeah you did, see me comin’ down the hall ’n you turn tail and head the other way.” He ignored her other comment she noticed.

“It’s cause..” she stopped herself at the last moment, spilling her guts about her feelings for him was probably not the best idea.

“It’s cause what? Huh? Scared of the redneck! Then you wonder why I ain’t nice ta ya. Fuck you!”

_What? How could he get it so wrong?_ His arguments took her off guard.

“I wasn’t scared….then….not like that.” she looked toward the direction of the road, maybe she could make a run for it, nothing could be worse than having to admit her feelings to Daryl before he did whatever he was planning to do.

Like he was reading her mind Daryl stepped between her and the road. “Scared like how then, brownie?”

The slur was like a punch in the gut, “Fuck you redneck!” she finally snapped trying to step around him.

Daryl grabbed her, swiftly pinning her to a tree. She flinched in anticipation of a hit, it never came, instead she became very aware of Daryl’s hard chest pressed up against her.

“Answer the damn question!”

“I thought you were handsome…ok….now you have something else to torture me with!” she cried out, her mind fuzzy. _Daryl Dixon had her pinned against a tree._

“What?” he asked her surprised, shifting his body to get a better look at her face and pushing his groan into her belly in the process. That’s when she felt it, he was hard. Her eyes widened in shock. It wasn’t like she was a virgin, but she never expected that from him, not around her anyway.

“What are you going to do Daryl?” this scenario was so far out of anything she ever imagined that she was terrified.

Daryl gripped her chin and brought his lips to hers. For a few seconds she was too shocked to move. _Daryl Dixon was kissing her! He’d been angry that she avoided him in school. Could it be that he was attracted to her too?_

She shyly opened her mouth and kissed him back, and it was like a switch was flipped. Gone was the shy Daryl from high school, gone was the angry neighbor, in their place was a desperate man. He gripped her hair with one hand, holding her head in place as he kissed her, his other hand ripped her pants opened impatiently. Isa’s mind screamed for her to stop him, this was the man that had been deliberately abusing her for months now, and now this? But all coherent thought left her mind as he lifted her up, his large calloused hands on her bottom, adjusting her over himself, in one swift move he was sheathed inside her with a loud satisfied moan. She let out a shaky breath at the intrusion.

“Isabelle,” he growled into her ear and she gave in, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly and kissing him with as much enthusiasm as he showed her.

It wasn’t until they were done that the guilt set in. He’d fucked her against a tree in the woods and now he was quietly getting dressed. She didn’t look at him as she found her underwear and pants. She was scared, _now what? Is it back to before? Does he care about me?_

“Best if people don’t know what happened.”

_Well, that answered that question._ Still, there was hope in her heart, “Like your brother?”

“Merle wouldn’t like it, should probably keep using this bus stop too.”

_Sure, what’s a mile everyday. Are you done with this yet, idiot?_ She sat down to put on her shoes. Her mind berating her for being stupid the entire time.

“Hey.” She didn’t look up, “I know yer schedule, I’ll come every chance I get.”

_He memorized my schedule?!_ Her hearted thumped excitedly. _Don’t be an idiot, you passed his house every day for months, of course he knows your schedule._ She let herself give him a sad smile,

“Sure Daryl.”

“Will you be here?”

_Yes!_ her heart screamed _No!_ her head answered, _what is this some forrest booty call, you’re supposed to sit around everyday and wait to see if he’ll come to fuck you. No! have some dignity._

“I’ll be here.”

_Pendeja_ , (dumbass) Her mind sneered, and she couldn’t help but agree, not that it kept her from showing up the next day.

 

>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<

 

It turned out that Daryl never missed a day. She did, from time to time, but she always left him a note explaining her absence. She had a lot of people to look after and Daryl didn’t seem to have all that much to do.

The first time she got her period was three weeks into their “relationship” she showed up to their tree to tell him and fully expected him to bail, but her didn’t, he kissed her and sat down with her on the fallen tree trunk by their tree and they talked. They talked and kissed and ended up staying at their spot much longer than when they simply had sex.

After that week their “relationship” was different, at least to her it was. She allowed herself to really admit to herself that she had real feelings for him. They were still sneaking around and if she saw him in the street or the store he always looked away but the next time they met up, he would always sooth away the sting of rejection by telling her she looked good in whatever she’d been wearing at the time, or commenting on what she was buying, he let her know he saw her, really saw her. That is why when she realized that she was nearly two months late on her period, she was tentatively hopeful.

Her heart shattered when she saw the marks on Daryl’s neck. It was obvious he’d tried to hide them, he was wearing a mock turtle neck shirt that she’d never seen on him before and it was the strangeness of the shirt that had drawn her eyes directly to his neck. The mark behind his ear was the first one she saw,

“Daryl what is that?” her mind raced, she knew what it was. She never left marks on him. Never.

“Merle, he insisted we go out with some bitches. But I didn’t do nuthin’.”

_Liar_! Her mind screamed, “You did something.”

“I couldn’t say no with Merle there.”

“Why not?” there wasn’t an answer to that, she knew.

“I tricked him though, didn’t fuck her.” That made no sense, _why would his brother care if he didn’t want to sleep with someone? Why would he need to trick Merle?_

She felt so stupid. “No, I think the only one you tricked is me.” she finally let her tears fall as she turned and ran home.

_Pendeja….idiota….estupida_ (dumbass…idiot…stupid) and to top it all off, she was pregnant.

 

>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<

 

That night she spoke to her abuelita (grandmother), she was too upset and broken to make up a lie and the truth came spilling out. Her abuelita smoothed down her dark hair and whispered comforting words, she had her and her brothers and her tios and tias (uncles and aunts), she had help, she wasn’t alone. She nodded and wiped her eyes, that didn’t help the pain that was burning in her heart though.

Her abuela smiled and kissed her forehead, she would talk to her Tia Nina, maybe a change of scenery would do her some good. The next morning she called her fast food job and quit, her Tia in L.A. told her she was welcomed to stay with them and was going to have her work with her cleaning houses until she had her baby and could find another job.

She didn’t leave right away, she wanted to stay and say goodbye to her brother Jose, who was getting out of jail in a couple of days and she took the time to play with her little cousin Carlos now that she had more time. She tried her best not to think about Daryl but every night she cried herself to sleep.

“He wasn’t your boyfriend Isa, you have no right to be upset.” she would whisper to herself in the dead of night but her heart felt different, she felt betrayed.

She stayed home, didn’t bother doing her hair or make-up or even really getting dressed, she just pulled her hair up in a pony tail, threw on some old shorts and a ratty t-shirt and tried to distract herself with house work and playing with Carlos.

Telling Jose about her pregnancy had been the hardest,

“I’ma kill that fuckin’ gringo!” her brother shouted angrily.

“No!” Isa gripped her brother’s arm. “I made the decision to be with him and I didn’t take my pill like I should have, I take responsibility for being stupid.”

“Should have stayed with your own kind Isa.” her brother shook his head.

“Like Jacob? I went out with him for three months and he went to jail for 5yrs, I would have been in the same boat if he had been the one to get me pregnant.”

“There are other guys.” Jose snapped at her, “You know I have other friends.”

“Like Tony? He doesn’t see his daughter either and he’s been wanting to date me for the past year. It doesn’t matter that he’s white _no it matters that you are brown_ ……it could have happened with anyone.”

“He’s still a dick.”

Isa wanted to argue but couldn’t, when Daryl wanted to be, he could be a real dick.

“I love him.” Isa muttered.

“Jesus Christ, I hope you get your shit straight in L.A. hermana (sister).”

“I will when you do.” she shot back defiantly.

“Fair enough” he finally brought her in for a long awaited, much needed hug.

 

>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

 

 

Two days later, Daryl showed up on her street. For a moment Isa thought she was hallucinating, he was halfway behind a tree, staring right at her. _why now? the day before she was leaving!_ “meet me at our tree.” she mouthed to him, holding her breath until he nodded and walked away.

She had hoped to leave and forget him, but now after just a few seconds of seeing him, she knew she had to say goodbye, she had to let him know about the baby and she had to let him know how she felt. She went inside and wrote a letter but it didn’t seem like enough, she walked to her boombox and eject the tape she had been playing over and over again for the last few days. She placed both the tape and the letter in a baggie and snuck down to their meeting place before the sun even rose the next day. She nailed the bag to the tree with a small smile, her family would be happy to not have to hear that song again for a long time. Two hours later she was in plane headed west. _If he really cares, he’ll find me_ her heart hoped _Don’t count on it_ her mind warned.

 

>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

 

Her abuela was the one with her in the delivery room when she gave birth to Daryl Dixon Jr. A blue eyed, light-skinned baby boy, who looked so much like his father that even Merle Dixon couldn’t deny him with a straight face.

“You named him after that puto?” her brother rolled his eyes.

“He’s his father, he might want to know him one day.”

“Give up already Isa.”

“I have.” She hadn’t heard a word from or about Daryl in all these months, she accepted that he didn’t want her but perhaps he would want their son one day.

 

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<

Nearly a year later. 

“Isa?”

She let herself fall into the chair by the living room phone, “Daryl?” _it can’t be! It’s been almost a year!_

“Isa where are you? I know we got a son, Jose and yer grandma told me…..I….I want ta meet him. I want ta see you.”

She couldn’t believe it, _he cared about his son,_ her heart warmed and her excitement was nearly uncontainable.

“I want that too. I wont keep him from you, I’m not like that.”

“But you did!” Daryl yelled at her, “You split, you took him!”

She had never thought of it that way, _he could have found her....them.... if he had tried_.

“I didn’t think you cared and it’s been so long and you had others.” she cried. “He’s almost six months, I was sure you didn’t care.” _He had other women, he probably had another women now_ , she was happy for her son, but she wouldn’t get hopeful for herself.

“Tell me where you are Isa. Ain’t been no one, not since the first time with you, I fucked up lettin’ Merle pressure me inta kissin’ that bitch, but it didn’t mean nothin’ and I swear ta you I didn’t fuck her, I ain’t even seen her or no one else since. I want us to make a go of it.”

Isa was so happy to hear him say that, that she couldn’t even speak, whatever he had done was long forgiven, if he was willing to have a real relationship with her she would jump at the chance.

“You got someone else don’t cha. Someone smarter than my dumb ass.”

She nearly laughed at the ridiculousness of his statement. _Did he not know how much he meant to her?_

“No,” she let out a small laugh, “I’m just happy, I hoped you’d find me but never believed you would. There is no one else. I’m in L.A.”

“You willin’ ta come back home? Got tha place ta myself now. Merle’s in jail for at least 10, got me a job as a mechanic. I can give you and my boy a life.”

The grin on her face felt like it could split her apart. “I think my Abuelita will let me move back in.” she agreed happily.

“Naw, not with yer Abuelita, Isa, with me. I wanna make a real go of it.”

“Yes! Daryl.” she nearly screamed. “We can come home in a couple of weeks.” she was nearly shaking with excitement.

“I’ll be waitin’ baby.”

And just like that her life was flipped upside down, in the best way possible.

 

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<

 

Daryl took to fatherhood like a duck to water. The second he set eyes on her and Little D he took them both in his arms and kissed them each on the forehead. Little D giggled and pulled at his daddy’s whiskers.

“Let’s get our boy home, baby.” Daryl’s eyes sparkled in a way she had never seen before. He carried himself lighter with a slight bounce in his step as he slung her bags over his shoulder and held out his hand to her.

She looked around the airport, half expecting to be getting sneered at and ridiculed, but nothing happened, her son got some smiles and some ooo’s and ahhh’s and that was it. Nobody cared, they were just another family in a sea of families.

The transition to their home life happened just as uneventfully, she moved in and set to work making their house a home. Daryl didn’t ask for much, happy to be fed and cared for when he came home, and open to the help her family readily offered, and just like that the roof was fixed, the house was painted and the porch that looked about ready to fall off on it’s own was torn down and rebuilt.

Daryl fixed Jose’s car and soon had enough side work from all her brother’s friends to buy new furniture for the house.

They couldn’t keep their hands of each other, making up for lost time. Daryl surprised her time and time again with how loving and affectionate he could be, P.D.A was never something he participated in, but behind closed doors there were kisses and hugs and snuggles every chance he got.

Little D crawled all over his daddy, spilled food on him, yanked his hair, and never got yelled at once, he told her about his childhood, she saw the mess his father had made of his back, their son would never live the life he lived, he promised her.

“I want ta take him ta see Merle.” he told her one morning.

Daryl visited his brother every two weeks and never told him anything about his life, for Isa this was a huge deal.

“He won’t be rude to him will he?” she worried.

“I don’t think so. Merle just went like our daddy but he ain’t so bad as ta hurt a kid, ‘specially if he’s mine.”

Isa took a deep breath, “OK, I trust you.”

Daryl kissed her and picked up their son, “Well be home latter, I ain’t workin’ today.”

She smiled and kissed her son, “Be good for your papi, mijo (my son).” Little D giggled and gave her a sloppy kiss in return.

 

>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<

 

Isa was fixing dinner when Daryl returned a sleeping Little D cradled in his right arm.

“How did it go?” she didn’t even need to ask, Daryl’s face was positively glowing.

“It went well, gonna take ‘em every visit. Merle insisted on it.” he hugged her with his free arm. “We got us a fine boy, Merle ain’t a fool, he saw it.”

“What he say about the new baby on the way?”

“Baby steps girl, baby steps. I’ll tell ‘em next time.”

Isa laughed, “Alright, just don’t wait till this one,” she patted her small swollen tummy, “is almost two, OK.”

“Never gonna be that stupid again, Isa. That I can promise you.”

She believed him.


End file.
